I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU

This is a letter written to the editor of Family First Magazine regarding an article entitled “I Have Something To Tell You”, which discusses medical issues and shidduchim.

     The shidduch system must be in a pretty sad state if, as described in the article, a shadchan got “furious” about a girl revealing her anxiety condition and medication, saying, “What did you do to yourself? This medication business will ruin your life!”

     I’d like to share something personal. I am a 21 year old girl from a great family and would be considered a “good catch” in the shidduch world. After several difficult years, I finally got the answer as to why I’d been feeling the way I was: I was recently diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder. Try to hear what I just said as if I were saying “Hashem created me with thinner hair.”

     As far as I’m concerned, there are two categories of people with a psychiatric disorder:

     a) Those who ignore their psychological condition, don’t get proper treatment, and skew the truth because they’re terrified of receiving the stigma that they have a condition, scared that they’ll never get married or that their reputation will get ruined, and

     b) Those being responsible by getting the treatment they need, be it medication, therapy, or any other form of help.

     Whether it’s mild anxiety, depression, OCD, or bipolar, nowadays there is treatment for all of these conditions. What matters is not what condition one has, but rather what category of people one falls under.

     I am in the second category and hope to encourage others to be as well. Ultimately the choice is yours, but I just have one question: What does Hashem want?