Telling Relatives

The following letter was shared by a father of a young girl with ASD, who sent this to relatives and friends.

In most cases, being honest and straight-forward with your friends and relatives can do much to ease the discomfort some may feel during the initial (and later!) stages.

As I think everyone who receives this knows, Devorah has "autisic spectrum disorder" and one of the functions of her brain is that she is not like every other soon to be 4 year old

Sometimes when we tell "people' this, they say "refuah shalama" (which means "complete health") as if she's sick. Devorah is not sick.

Devorah's brain functions and processes information different than the "norm" spectrum. Whatever that means. We give her the love that we give to our other children, we spoil her, we give her treats, we give her time outs, she goes to gan (pre-school).. she breaths the same air, etc, etc, etc. To her, everything is normal. Of course would it be easier for her parents/siblings and teachers if Devorah used words that were easier to understand, and spoke more clearly? Yes, of course! Would it be easier for her parents and her siblings and her teachers if Devorah processed information, emotions, senses in a "normal" way? YES, of course! However, she is amazing.. and all the people (the unbiased non abba/ema ones) all agree that she is AMAZING, HAPPY, LOVING, CARING and all the good things we all want to be, she does naturally.

By the way, she even has a friend at gan! Her name is Chaylai. Devorah always talks about Chaylai and sometimes even won't wear certain clothes because they "belong" to her friend!

She knows who she is --- there was almost a two year period.. maybe more were she never said her own name! or when we pointed at pictures of her, she couldn't identify herself. She has a strong sense of self now. Thank G-d! She knows who her brothers are, and she makes sure emma has her purse, that everyone holds hands when crossing the street,.. she knows the exact spot where she sits everyday.. and DONT try to change her ROUTINE. Her routine is VERY critical, .. believe me the crying she puts on would melt the heart of Stalin (may his name be erased). I could go on... the main thing, is, she isn't sick. She's incredible gift from G-d to us. Thank you.

maybe Devorah is the norm, and we're the ones who aren't?

have a good rest of your day!

Devorah's father

PS - You may want to check out this video about "ADHD Diversity": http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Wv49RFo1ckQ