Dear Special Ed Teacher

Courtesy of Family First Magazine

Dear Special Ed Teacher,

You’re a special ed teacher by virtue of being my special needs daughter’s teacher. You’re all ready, and we’re all ready. Or maybe it would be better to say---my daughter is more than ready.

It’s been a long vacation.

Still. It’s the beginning of the year, and I’m frightened.

Will my daughter get all the help she needs? All the extra services she’s approved for, but so often doesn’t get unless I’m on top of it?

Will you, her teacher, know how to deal with her? Will you see how she gets startled quickly; how sudden noised shake her equilibrium?

We’ve spoken on the phone, of course, but seeing her in real isn’t the same as hearing about her.

Will there be enough staff to help you? Dealing with all the students and their different needs will demand a lot of effort from you---maybe more than you have available.

But most of all, deal special teacher, as the one overseeing my daughter’s care most of the day…will you judge me?

I’ve been judged in the past and found wanting.

It hurts.

This is why I’m worried you’ll judge me for:

• Not spending enough time meeting you over the course of the year
• Not taking my daughter on a three-hour trip for a specialist’s evaluation for a therapy modality you suggested.
• Not spending an hour, seven days of the week, working on a program with her that you feel would be most beneficial for her progress.
• Not dropping everything and coming down to school at zero notice because a famous speech therapist is visiting, and you think she really has a lot to offer.

Here’s the thing---my daughter isn’t an only child. Nor is she five years old any more.

Here’s another thing---you will get to know my daughter very, very well over the coming year. But you won’t know me or my family’s needs.

You’ll put your heart and soul into making my daughter’s year a success. And it will feel like a betrayal, or a belittling of all the work you put into her when it seems you don’t have my cooperation.

I appreciate every single second of thought you put in, I really do!

This is your job, and you throw yourself into it with a single minded dedication that I don’t trivialize for one second.

Here, though, is what I want you to know.

I’ve been raising my daughter for years and years. I’ve been to countless specialists and therapists, and traveled the length and breadth of the country looking for answers. I’ve thrown endless money chasing after hopes and dreams that have disappeared in a puff of smoke.

At this stage, I need to step back a bit and focus on my other children’ needs. I have their health and well-being to take into account, too!

And all of them need a mommy who isn’t falling apart, who isn’t completely tied down with taking care of the one child who needs more than all of them put together.

I don’t say this easily, dearest special teacher, but I’m doing my best. And you have my sincerest, deepest wishes and prayers for success as you do your best.

In appreciation,

Your Student’s Mommy.