No Place like (His) Home

By Ahuva Ehrenpreis

Courtesy of Family First

I’m writing in response to the recent article and inbox discussion about caring for adults with special needs. Having a special needs child impacts the entire family, siblings as well as parents. Indeed, it’s a responsibility that doesn’t end with adulthood and may even seem greater as the special child becomes a “special adult”. Baruch Hashem, today we have many support organizations for families facing these challenges, which give the “special” family member the opportunity to grow to his or her fullest potential.

Though I initially felt that my Down Syndrome son, Saadya, moving to an apartment would be difficult for both of us, it has proven to a tremendous brachah for both Saadya and myself. His residence, which is under the auspices of Makor Disability Services (Women’s League), has given him a sense of independence. Just as his other adult siblings have done, he has “moved on”, and he too can go out or just be with “the guys”. His siblings and I are very much a part of his life, but it’s his life. Inviting Saadya to come back “home” for Shabbos usually gets the response “I have to be with the guys for Shabbos”. And when he comes, he’s usually packed up within minutes of Havdalah, since he “has to get back to his apartment”.

I thought that moving Saadya to a home was a selfish decision on my part, but it offers him a fuller, happier life than being “home”. I’m now a guilt-free Jewish mother!

Every family must find the path that is right for them, but know that there are options that will help all concerned. May everyone have the siyata dishmaya to find that path