BUTTON FEAR

                                                                                                By Rhona Lewis

Courtesy of Mishpacha Junior Magazine

The scientific name for button phobia is koumpounophobia. Koumpouno is the Greek word for button and phobia is the Greek word for fear. This phobia is actually quite common: It effects one in 75,000 people. It often effects children and stay with them as they grow older. Different people are effected differently. Some people fear only plastic buttons. Some people fear anything that looks similar to a button., like sequins. Some people won’t touch buttons but can be near other people are wearing them.

If seven year old Yisroel manages to button his shirt when getting dressed for school, his mother lets him choose a candy from the jar of treats she keeps especially for him. That’s because buttoning up a shirt isn’t easy for Yisroel. In fact, not so long ago, Yisroel couldn’t even look at a button. He was afraid of buttons.

Hi, Yisroel. Were you always afraid of buttons?

Oh, yes! My mother says that even when I was two or three, I gave her trouble when she tried to dress me. I screamed and refused to wear certain clothes. Later, she realized that all the clothes I wouldn’t wear all had buttons on them. My mother says when I got older and learned to talk, I told her I didn’t want to wear any clothes with buttons.

Did your fear of buttons effect your life in other ways?

If I sat on my mother’s lap, and she was wearing a shirt with buttons, I’d try to get far away from the buttons. And if there was a jacket with buttons hanging on the back of a chair, I wouldn’t sit on that chair. Also if we had guests, I always checked if they were wearing clothes with buttons. If I didn’t see any buttons, I said, “I like him”. If I saw buttons, I said “I didn’t like him”. I really only meant that I didn’t like the buttons on their clothes, but I was too little to say that. Some guests probably thought I was rude. Once, when I was in the car with my mother, we picked up my teenage sister, Suri, and her friend. They both got into the back, and Suri’s friend sat next to me. When I saw the buttons on her coat, I said, “I don’t like your friend!” Suri was embarrassed.

How did your mother help you with your fear?

She bought me clothes without buttons. I wore t-shirts, and my coat always had a zipper, not buttons. When I was four, my mom took me to play therapy.

Did you enjoy the play therapy?

It was fun because the therapist, Shana, did cool arts and crafts projects with me. First we did lots of gluing. She cut out shapes of shirts and let me decorate them. First I used stuff like string, and colored paper, and shavings. Then Shana started giving me circles of paper and sequins and anything round. Later on she started adding buttons to the pile of things, but I only had to look at them not touch them. But soon, even though I tried not to, I would always use one or two buttons. Once we made a clay model and stuck buttons in it. Another time Shana brought me a vase that looked like a shirt, and we stuck stickers that looked like buttons onto the vase. I thought that the buttons looked like scary eyes looking at me, but Shana called the buttons “smiley faces,” and then the buttons didn’t look so scary.

I saw her every week for a year and by the end, she was bringing in big buttons and we put thread through them together. I thought this helped me see that the holes in the buttons were only holes and nothing else.

Did you do special exercises at home to help you?

My mother bought me a sticker book and whenever I agreed to try on something with buttons, I got a sticker for my collection. Sometimes I got a bigger treat: my mother bought me a gingerbread man at the bakery. Even though the gingerbread had “buttons”, they never bothered me because they looked liked little dots not like buttons. I always picked them off and ate them.

How did your siblings react to your button phobia?

I heard horrible stories of children with button phobia being chased by their siblings who were holding a handful of buttons. My brothers and sisters never did that. Maybe that’s because I’m one of the youngest in my family, so the other kids liked to take care of me. My mother explained to them about my phobia and they always encouraged me. They thought I didn’t know, but I noticed that whenever I wear a shirt with buttons, one of them says, “Gee, Yisrael, you look so cute in that shirt.”

How do you feel about buttons now?

I still don’t like to sit on a chair with a jacket hanging on the back. But I didn’t have to make a fuss about it. I can just calmly ask someone to move it. And , I can actually wear a shirt with buttons, and it doesn’t scare me. When it’s cold, I can usually keep my sweater on, but now I can look at my buttons and feel fine. I still don’t wear a suit because that’s full of buttons, but maybe for Pesach, I’ll ask my parents to buy me one. Right now I only like my own buttons, but I’m trying to like other people’s buttons too.

Do you have any message to share with our readers?

Yes, I do. My mother told me that many problems, including phobias, can be cured if the person suffering goes to therapy. She told me she heard about two people a lot older than me who also have button phobia. One is a doctor and the other is the grandmother of someone my mother works with. I feel so sorry for them that thtey have been afraid their whole lives. So I’d like to tell other kids who need any kind of therapy (physical, occupational, music, art) that they should go ahead and get help so they don’t grow old and still have the same problem.