SEIZED WITH KINDNESS

By Rhona Lewis

Courtesy of Family First Magazine

            There’s nothing beautiful about epilepsy.

            There’s nothing beautiful about a cocoon. A cocoon isolates the developing pupa; seizures isolate the sufferer, temporarily cutting him off from the world. But eventually, the butterfly emerges…

            Leah Katz stopped reading her book and stared off into space, her blue eyes focused on a distant speck. She looked as if she was daydreaming. But when the stopping and staring became routine, her mother took nine-year-old Leah to the doctor. After many tests, the shocking diagnosis was reached: epilepsy, with no related cause.

            Thus began Leah’s lengthy, and often painful, medical saga. Medication and operations followed the diagnosis, but nothing helped to control the seizures. Even the vagus nerve stimulator, an inplant placed in Leah’s left shoulder didn’t help. At first, the seizures were partial, but over the years they became more severe.

            There was little choice: Leah had to learn to live with her debilitating condition. “Leah was brave, but the real hero was her mother,” recalls Tamar, a cousin. “She was the driving force who gave Leah the confidence to do things on her own.”

            “Epilepsy never stopped Leah,” her mother, who is now living in Israel, says. “She was never afraid and insisted on going to school by herself, even though every outing was dangerous – she could have had a seizure crossing the street.” Later, when she got a job at the RCA (Rabbinical Council of America), she took the subway into Manhattan, taking care never to stand too close to the rails in case she lost consciousness.

Sadly, in over 30 percent of patients, seizures do not respond to treatment. Every few days, Leah suffers from partial seizures in which she momentarily blanks out. Generalized seizures, which result in a loss of consciousness and muscle control affect her weekly.

“As well as dealing with the epilepsy itself and the disappointment when a new medication didn’t provide the miracle cure, Leah has suffered tremendous injury from the falls. She is so familiar with broken teeth, broken bones, stitches and staples,” her sister says. And yet, “I’ve never, ever heard her complain. She always forges forward.”

At 26 Leah married Marty Katz and moved to Lakewood, where they still live. Together they raised two beautiful children, born less than a year apart. Although they were offered help from social services, they refused.

Rising to the Challenge

            Early in our conversation, Leah reveals the secret that has given her the strength to continue: “I pray all the time and hope for miracles,” she says. “Whatever Hashem does is the best for me. Hashem doesn’t give you something you can’t handle.”

Hearing such rock-solid faith in the face of such challenge, I turn to Leah’s mother to ask her how she instilled this in her children. “Oh, I didn’t do anything,” she replies modestly, “I get my strength from them.”

Leah’s father , Yaacov Rabinowitz, is the son of Rav Shlomo Avigdor Rabinowitz who served as rabbi in Supresla, Lithuania. He escaped with the Yeshivas Mir to Shanghai. He passed away when Leah was five months old, leaving behind a young widow with four children. His legacy, and the fortitude of her mother, provided Leah with the spiritual tools to shine through the seizures.

Leah summarized her lengthy medical history and painful past in one short sentence: “I’ve had lots of blood tests, many falls, eye operations, and other operations too. Once I fell in the kitchen, fractured my left foot, and had to go to a rehabilitation center to learn how to walk again.”

But then, Leah begins to list all the things for which she is grateful: “I have the loving support of my family; Kimball Medical Center is a great hospital; I have a wonderful specialist at the University of Pennsylvania; Hatzolah (who know me well!) arrives on the scene within two minutes; my daughter Chani is almost a nurse. I have a Lifeline necklace and a wonderful aide. And my husband is the best support of all.” She pauses and then finds another positive point, “These days, I’m in a wheelchair, so I don’t have such bad falls.”

Taking Care of Mom

            “I was about five years old when I first understood that something was wrong with my mother,” says Chani, Leah’s daughter. “Seizures were a part of my childhood. We were in a bakery once when she had a seizure and fell down. At the time, I didn’t realize that she had broken her collar bone. Another time, she lost consciousness in the supermarket and fell forward into the shopping cart. I saw a lot of blood, but didn’t immediately realize that she needed stitches. Over time, I’ve learned how to help her best during a seizure and after. Now, when my mom has come back to herself after a seizure, we assess whether or not we need to go to the hospital.”

            Chani says that her mother’s epilepsy never impinged on her ability to form lasting friendships. “I just explained the medical issue to them. Some friends were more nervous around my mom and others were less so.” Chani’s healthy attitude is a reflection of Leah’s ability to deal successfully with her illness. While Chani acknowledges that sometimes she gets frustrated with the situation, her attitude remains incredibly upbeat: “I fell good knowing that I’m doing the right thing. I talk to Hashem and ask Him to help me through the day, whatever it holds. I have a mother who loves me and raised me and I love her and respect her.”

The Desire to Give

            As a young girl, Leah’s unquenchable desire to give was already apparent. She was always ready to babysit, compile mailing lists, and do any other chesed that came her way. Where others would have felt like they were being taken advantage of, Leah felt happy to help. “Tante Leah was the best aunt,” says Chavi, a niece in Israel. “When we visited her in Lakewood, she would take us to Whispers N Whimseis on 13^th Avenue to buy Hello Kitty stickers, before taking us out to pizza.”

            Many of Chavi’s memories focus on Leah’s seizures. On one visit to Lakewood, when Chavi was eight years old, Leah collapsed in the bank and Chavi was left to explain her condition to the panicking crowd. Bedikas Chometz was interrupted by another seizure. Despite the frequency and unpredictability of the seizures, Leah was determined to lead a normal life. “When she came (alone!) to visit us in Israel, she insisted on going swimming at the beach. Tante Leah was unafraid, but we were very afraid! In the end, we compromised and Tante Leah swam in a large inflatable ring.”

            Leah’s masterful at building family connections. “My mother-in-law loves to give,” says her daughter-in-law Devorah Leah. “When we went to visit, she insisted on filling an entire suitcase for us with household items. We had a great time when she taught me how to make her famous kishke and eggplant parmesan. She never forgets to send birthday cards – even to my siblings!”

            Leah has always been active in communal activities, whether it was collecting money for tzedakah organizations in Israel, making her famous potato kugel for the shul Kiddush, or organizing cake platters for a bris. And where most of us would draw the line, Leah continues to give. “A condition to my remarriage was living in Israel,” says Leah’s mother. “Leah encouraged me to go by telling me that they could manage alone. I’m here because of my daughter.” Her mother adds, “My husband has always been there for Leah. Through my marriage, she gained the support of a father.”

Beyond the Seizures

            When I asked Leah how she copes day to day, she laughs, “What should I do? Sit down and cry?” Indeed, Tamar comments, “Each time she had a seizure, she never let it upset her. She just got up and resumed whatever she was doing.”

            Not only has Leah always forged ahead, she also refuses to focus on the anguish and torment inherent in her challenges. In her sunny voice, she states that her classmates managed to deal with her epilepsy, her illness didn’t impact her teenage years adversely, and to top it all, “Raising two babies who were born less than a year apart wasn’t that hard. I just made sure to sit down when I was holding them, in case I had a seizure.”

            Sadly, to compound the challenge of epilepsy, a strong connection between epilepsy and depression has been made: more than one in every three people with epilepsy is also affected by depression. Leah, however, is not among them. “I’m happy. Don’t ask me why … but I’m happy,” she says.

            I always heard that the best way to be happy is to make someone else happy. Now I have witnessed it. A Chinese proverb recommends the following:

            “If you want happiness for an hour… take a nap.

              If you want happiness for a day… go fishing.

              If you want happiness for a year… inherit a fortune.

              If you want happiness for a lifetime… help someone else.”

              It’s a dictum that Leah Katz lives by.