Yossi's Bar Mitzvah

By Sarah Perl

Reprinted with permission from HAMODIA

THE HALL looked magnificent.  The drummer beat a drumroll and a hush filled the air. After a brief pause,  he orchestra began a lively and rhythmic fanfare. The emcee called out, “Introducing … the guest of honor … the bar mitzvah bachur … Yossi!” The hundreds of guests stood up and watched as Yossi entered the hall riding on a chariot covered in gold fabric, bedecked with flowers.

A bar mitzvah boy arriving in a chariot? Yes, it was certainly unusual.

But so was every aspect of that memorable affair. Indeed, it was a celebration that not one attendee will ever forget.

Each guest had anticipated an extraordinary event because the bar mitzvah boy’s parents, Reb Chaim Mendel and Chaya Briendel Katina, were extraordinary. This couple was blessed with a family both beautiful and unique.

Each of their adopted children had a different set of challenges and special needs, yet they all had one thing in common — very special souls.

The Paradise Hall in Monroe was completely transformed. The table settings were gorgeous, with lovely flower arrangements and framed pictures of Yossi wearing his tefillin; all the chairs were fabric-covered, and at each place was a set of chocolate filled tefillin. Every detail of the event was expertly coordinated, from the shot glasses with Yossi’s name on them to be taken home as favors, to the breathtaking ice sculptures at the head table. Pure happiness abounded, and each of the many guests felt honored and privileged to share in Yossi’s simchah — the celebration of a lifetime, the simchah of a wonderful boy born with Down syndrome and numerous other challenges and health problems. Finally, after thirteen years of struggle and effort, he had reached the milestone of his bar mitzvah.

Yossi’s arrival in a chariot was a beautiful solution to the problem of his inability to walk on his own. The pure joy and excitement in the room as Yossi was driven around to greet and be greeted by the guests were tangible. Many had to wipe away tears as they looked at Yossi — a boy with so many challenges whose pure, innocent face shone with joy and contentment, the gift of simchah that his adoptive parents had so lovingly implanted in him during his life with them.

The guests lifted Yossi onto his father’s shoulders, and then surrounded them in a lively circle dance. When they  all sat down to partake of the seudah, Yossi’s father stood up to speak. He began by expressing his heartfelt gratitude to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for bringing his family to this milestone. Years before, he said, when they had adopted Yossi, his future seemed bleak. Everyone doubted that he would ever be able to talk. Yet now Yossi was able to daven, recite brachos and put on tefillin. With Hashem’s help his parents were now receiving indescribable satisfaction from Yossi’s accomplishments. Yossi’s father thanked his wife, his devoted helpmate, for all she had done for Yossi. And he thanked his parents and in-laws for welcoming all his adopted children into the family and for treating them with the same love and care as they did their other grandchildren — perhaps even more.

At the conclusion of this moving address, because Yossi had always been entranced by uniformed policemen and Hatzolah workers, in honor of his bar mitzvah a state trooper marched in, attired in full uniform, presented Yossi with a gift, and congratulated him on this momentous occasion.

After the main course was served, the lights dimmed and a touching slide presentation was shown, accompanied by a sing-along in which all the guests were able to participate thanks to the booklet of lyrics at each place setting. They sang about Yossi’s special neshamah, his soul that came straight from Hashem’s Throne of Glory. The song told of the tremendous kiddush Hashem of Yossi’s life and the love and pleasure Hashem took in him. As the song played, the professional slide show depicted Yossi’s life through a combination of beautiful photos and video  clips, allowing the purity of his soul to shine forth. When the presentation ended, there was not a dry eye in the ballroom.

The climax of Yossi’s bar mitzvah was his pshetl. A hush filled the hall as the guests waited with bated breath. In a

sweet and steady voice he began. His oration was in the form of the Mah Nishtanah, the passage from the Pesach Haggadah in which the youngest child asks his father the Four Questions to ascertain why “this night is different from all other nights.”

Yossi gave four answers to his own question. This night he was happy because he had turned thirteen; he was happy because he was accepting the yoke of the mitzvos; he was happy to be donning tefillin; and he was happy to

have the best parents in the world.

“Thank you, Totty. Thank you, Mommy,” he concluded.

The words were simple, yet looking at Yossi’s shining face, everyone knew the message was much deeper: Thank you, Totty and Mommy, for not allowing my diagnosis and disability to define me as a person, and for opening up a world of endless opportunity for me; thank you for bringing out every tiny bit of potential I had, and even that which I didn’t have; thank you for putting your heart and soul into giving me such a rich and meaningful life of  Torah and mitzvos.

The penultimate ceremony was billed as a “Kumsitz and Farbreng,” in which all the guests danced to the lively, joyful music of a large orchestra and several singers, including Avraham Fried. The bar mitzvah boy was borne along on the shoulders of the dancers.

As the guests sat down to choose from the delectable desserts laid out on carts, the bar mitzvah celebration came to an end with a presentation from Yossi’s birth parents — a song dedicated to “Totty and Mommy Katina.” The  song explained that each soul is destined from birth to reach its intended parents — and Yossi’s was destined to be cared for by the Katinas.

A truly unique and uplifting simchah. ❚