NO, I DON’T MARK PAPERS

By Stacie Stuart                                                                       

No, I don’t mark papers.  I wish I could.

I don’t see that little light go off in their heads when they learn something new.

I wish I could.

No.  I don’t have to answer for citywide scores.  I wish I could.

I don’t see my students go on each year to a new grade, full of dreams of being whatever they want knowing I had influenced them.  I wish I could.

No, I don’t mark papers.

I don’t have 36 students in my class that hear me and understand my instructions and follow simple rules like sit down and take out a notebook.

What I do have is 12 students that need every ounce of my attention seven hours a day.

What I do have is adult students of both genders that must be changed and diapered 3 times a day, a lot of runny noses to wipe, and a lot of faces to wash after lunch as well as feed.

I do answer a lot of questions every day, mostly the same one over and over.

I do have to break down a task like writing a letter of the alphabet into 8 steps.

No, I don’t mark papers.

I do sit on the floor with a student who has just had a seizure and hold their head in my lap waiting for a nurse, saliva all over my clothes, the clothes I wore for open school night.

I do have to attend an average of one funeral a year.

I do have to go over every classroom rule every day, and then some.

I do have to explain why we are different, why we ride the school bus and our little brother walks to school.

I do have to tell some parents the best that they could hope for is a workshop placement after graduation.

No, I don’t mark papers.

I do have a job that I love, even though sometimes I wonder what’s the use. Then the next day I experience something that tells me why.

I do have students who really love me, I mean hugs and kisses all the time.

I do have unconditional trust, even from a teenager.

I do see a graduation each year that brings me to tears.

I do know I’m a lucky person to have this job, luckier than my kids are for having me.

I’ve been a regular ed. teacher as well as a special ed. teacher, I’ve seen both sides.

Maybe we should walk a mile in each other’s shoes.

I don’t mark papers and I’m glad I don’t.