DESIGNER LABELS

By: Sarah Chana Radcliffe

Courtesy of Family first

We are so much more than a label

We love labels. They sum it all up in just a word. For example, “inconsiderate” is a concise way of saying that “someone tends to do things that end up causing some level of discomfort to one or more people.” Wow! Do you see how many words that one label saved us?

There are lots of different kinds of labels, of course, but they all serve this basic, time-and-effort-saving purpose. Designer labels on clothing and products say, “This is prestigious, expensive, high-quality article that indicates that its owner has good taste and/or lots of money, or is a very wise shopper who knows how to get an amazing bargain.” Again, it’s easy to see how an individual word like “Burberry” can communicate so much in so little space.

In a similar way, we like mental-health labels – not just for their diagnostic value, but also for their concise summation of the problem before us. In the case of some mental-health disorders, such as depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, the label points to a specific medical intervention. In this sense, it has diagnostic value.

But we like mental-health labels even when they don’t point to a treatment protocol or we’re not about to avail ourselves of treatment. “He’s narcissistic,” “She’s borderline,” “He’s neurotic,” “He’s an aspie (has Asperger’s syndrome).” With a few words, we feel we’ve solved a problem for ourselves. “I know why he behaves the way he does – it’s because he’s an aspie.” Done.

Limitations of Labels

There is some truth in the assertion that a person may behave the way he or she does because of an underlying disorder. However, too quick and tight a grasp on the handle may cause us to steer in the wrong direction.

“After Elisheva was diagnosed with anxiety, we lowered our expectations of her considerably. We didn’t want to push her for fear of triggering her anxiety. After awhile, I realized that we were treating her like a walking disorder rather than a normal person. Once I decided she was a normal person who gets easily frightened in new situations and crowd scenes, I saw her as the strong little girl she is and was able to help her use ‘fear-busters’ to better manage herself in situations that triggered her fear.”

Labels don’t have magic powers and, in fact, can be harmful in that they close down our perceptive abilities. Once we have a label, it can be difficult to see what is actually in front of us and what we can do about it.

“My own child has something – I know that. We’ve been told that he has Asperger’s syndrome, High Functioning Autism (HFA), and nonverbal learning disability (NLD) by different practitioners at different times, as well as ADHD, Tourette’s Syndrome, and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

“Sometimes I would stare at his freckles and try to find the little boy under there – my bundle of love and laughter, my wild thing, my little genius. Whenever he struggled all I could see were the names he’s been called and it made me feel sad and helpless.

“Finally one specialist told me: ‘I’m not interested in the labels. Just tell me what’s going on with your child.’ This person actually saw that there is a child here! And he really wanted to target my child’s issues.

“I’ve since learned that there are huge differences among kids and adults who share these labels, and each person with one of these disorders is really a world unto himself, requiring individualized treatment approaches.”

Seeing the individual

Indeed, each human being is a world unto himself, whether or not he has identifiable symptoms and issues. Every disorder and disease manifests differently, but so does every other aspect of personality. We can help each other far more when we tackle individual issues – the what’s-going-on stuff – than when we label each other.

Getting to know each other and love each other is a process that requires patience and discernment, and a willingness to embrace everything that we find: all the strengths and weaknesses and unique characteristics of the full human being before us. We are so much more than any one word.