And the Award Goes To….

Tziri Frank

As a rule, Franks don’t play ball. Well, I better clarify that. The Monsey Franks are what would be politically correctly labeled as “ball-challenged”. Actually, I better clarify that a little further. The Monsey Frank that are specifically related to me, are somewhat incapable of understanding and following the rules associated with the pursuit of a ball. It’s not that we don’t like sports and all the hoopla that goes along with following the play by play details of the path of a little round orb that can pack the same speeds as small aircraft on a windy day, we just seem to lack the physical ability that seems to be a prerequisite for wanting to run and catch the thing in the first place. To put it bluntly, mention the idea of spending a nice Sunday afternoon participating or observing any sport requiring two teams fighting over a little rubber sphere, and we go “ballistic”. Our idea of “having a ball” is to sit and type funny stuff on the computer!

So, it came as a great surprise to me to discover the award that is proudly displayed on the wall of the special group home where my son, Yossi, who is severely mentally and physically, handicapped, lives. Since I was perusing the walls of his humble abode at the end of a long Sunday afternoon, my first thought was that I was not seeing clearly and I needed to clean my contact lenses. However, after repeatedly rubbing my eyes in an attempt to actually be able to read the writing on the wall, nothing was changed, other than the fact that I no longer was wearing any eye makeup.

The words were still there bigger and more impressive than before.

“Oh my!” I said to Yossi who was next to me.

He smiled politely, clearly happy to have made my day better in some way. And he did. Because there it was in public view, with large purple block letters on a white certificate adorned with various sports paraphernalia, the words that will stay emblazoned in my heart forever.

“This certificate is awarded to Yossi Frank for excellence in sports and ball playing.”

“Yossi!” I exclaimed reaching around his cumbersome wheelchair to hug him proudly, “so this is how you spend all your free time, I didn’t know you could play ball!”

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I don’t take my pride and nachas wherever I can find them. I would like to state for the record that I am one of those mothers who sits in the center of the first row at every school performance completely entranced with anything my child does before a crowd of video and digital cameras which are the natural arm extensions of any self respecting modern day parent. But let’s face it, there is a certain amount of irony in a situation where a Frank relative of mine actually received a sports accolade, and wouldn’t you know, it is the one Frank who physically and mentally could not ever be expected to have anything to do with a little ball.

So the whole way home I made some friendly observations/comments to those innocent victims trapped in the back seat of my minivan.

Like, “Who would ever think that Yossi would get the first sports certificate in the family?”

“I did!” exclaimed Sonny who clearly wanted to get me off the topic, “can you please put the Harry Potter tape back on?”

“What do you suppose Yossi did to earn such an award,” I continued, completely unperturbed.

“He played ball,” said Ahuva in a tone that suggested that I surely could not really be an English teacher if I was having such trouble understanding fairly simple vocabulary.

“Ball,” echoed Aliza who promptly threw her shoe at Yehudis.

“It’s just an award,” said Atara taking a rare break from talking to Riki on the cell phone, “it’s not like he got his drivers license or anything.” (Guess where she is up to in life.)

And that’s when it occurred to me. When you bring the entire honor/medal documentation procedure down to its most basic form, what is an award except an acknowledgement of surpassing a goal with excellence? And why shouldn’t the special needs population have awards that acknowledge their individual triumphs and successes? These would be, of course, in addition, to those athletic trophies which are well publicized at the Special Olympics.   The only thing the regular world has to do is pick appropriate award names that clearly explain the visions and the victories of this unique population, and we can “get the ball rolling”.

As luck would have it, I happen to have a few of the suggested awards can be bestowed at our own lavish ceremonies. I also have the offer of any Frank family member who would be happy to serve as emcee, since that is the only way most of us will ever get close to any kind of honor certificate.

So here they are, in no particular order;

The MVP Award – Most Valuable Paraphernalia

In the world of sports one of the most coveted prizes is a yearly medal that is given to the athlete who led his team to victory and proved his athletic capabilities on the playing field earning himself the title of Most Valuable Player. Well, we too can have the MVP Award. Only our acronym and award would be for Most Valuable Paraphernalia and would be conferred upon the one individual who has spent the most time and effort to acquire the various medical and/or physical equipment that are indispensable to the special needs population. Points would be awarded to those daring individuals for their amazing capabilities to navigate the red tape of beauracracy that allowed them to receive the cumbersome, costly, and confusing array of accouterments that accompany any physically handicapped child. Special bonus points could be granted to those persons who spend months and even years in endless doctors appointments configuring the gear to perfectly fit a handicapped human being, only to start the process again because the child has grown and changed in the time that it took to complete the process and the forms.

The MVT Award- Most Varied Therapies

It is of great importance that the MVP Award not to be confused with the MVT Award, which naturally stands for Most Varied Therapies Award. In order to receive this honor, an individual would have to spend no less than one half of each day devoted to any and all sorts of therapy. It is absolutely imperative that they participate in such newfangled ideas such as art therapy, music therapy, and roll you eyeballs around your head therapy. As a matter of fact any new therapy that comes out would only be allowed on the market after it has been tested on this years MVT winner.

The MVD Award- Most Visits to Doctors

The MVD Award clearly speaks for itself, except that it is important to remember that extra points are scored for actually getting in to see those doctors who only have office hours on the third Tuesday of every month, as long as it is an even day on the calendar. Double bonus points are scored for traveling to distant lands to see specialists and for being on such familiar terms with a physician that you celebrate each other’s birthdays.

The WOW Award – Watch Our Weight

This is the award that is a “sore point” for everyone. The WOW! Award that naturally stands for Watch Our Weight would be awarded to the special needs individual that actually managed to gain a few pounds while on IV and NG tubes. Conversely, it can also be awarded to that individual that never leaves a wheelchair, loves to eat chocolate, and still doesn’t gain a pound. As a matter of fact I say we award this to any individual, handicapped or not, who never moves if they can help it, eats all the chocolate they want, and never gain a pound, which means this is one award I will never see!

               The TADDAM Award- Takes All Daily Doses And Medications

One of the more challenging honorable certificates would be the TADDAM! Award, which obviously stands for Takes All Daily Doses And Medications. This unique award would be granted to the individual who manages to swallow all their myriad pills in a set amount of time without hiding it in various foods and drink, and still has time and energy and appetite to eat a regular meal. Double bonus points should be given for pills that are the size of small sports balls, or medications that come in oddly hued colors and unusual textures.

The AHA Award- Avoided Hospital Admissions

And of course there is the AHA! Award which stands for Avoided Hospital Admissions, which can also be used for Avoids Hatzolah Ambulances depending on the individual needs and case histories of the contestants.

And finally, the BYY Award - Because You’re You

This has very little to do with a Bais Yaakov institution, but a lot to do with learning.   This is the award that has the most meaning behind it, and should be given to any individual that has had the power to change the lives and the world around them, just by being them. This can be given to any and all family members, medical personnel, therapists, case workers, special ed teachers, counselors, volunteers and soldiers in the army of chesed who devote their lives to making the world a better place for someone else, especially those who can least do for themselves. It can also be given to those unique individuals who have changed the lives of the people around them, not because of any great physical achievements or scientific discoveries, or performing talents of any kind. No, these individuals have changed the world around them, with something as simple as a hello while lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to hundreds of machines. They have altered the universe with something as small as a step when no one believed they would ever sit. And they have turned the world on its axis by living with trials and tribulations that defy the imagination, and they have done all that with a smile.

And so, in addition to the athletic awards that have already been bestowed on one special boy, I would like to give first place honors to Yossi Frank, Just Because You’re Yossi!